Today I sat down with a very wise and omniscient source for answers to all of life's burning questions. I was a bit nervous to receive the truth, but my iPod was gentle and kind and put me right at ease. Yep, my iPod. I read about the idea over at SwissToni's Place and was instantly intrigued. As you might expect, the answers were part insightful and part hilarious.
For your own answers, put your iPod on shuffle and ask away, but be prepared for the gems you'll receive. For those of you without an iPod (*gasp*, you say you're cool enough to be my friend?!), I'm thinking of opening a storefront and charging 5 bucks a pop for this valuable insight, so stay tuned...
1. What do you think of me?
Hallelujah- Ryan Adams
If I could have a simple love
How would it feel
And what would it mean
I'd only trade you away
For Mary Magdalene
Aw, you're so sweet iPod! I wouldn't trade you away for anyone less than Jesus himself.
2. Will I have a happy life?
Rock and Roll- Spiritualized
Rock and Roll
Keep playing for me
It's easy to see
That I love you
Love you
Yes, it's true, I do love my rock 'n roll. So if I stick with it I'll have a happy life? Okay by me.
3. What do my friends really think of me?
The Electric Version- New Pornographers
The sound of God is the screech of tires
Lights and magnets
Bolts and wires
Strayed from the road
This very one
Hmm, it sounds like my friends think that I'm a bit crazy. Or that I'm an electrician. But I'm not. They don't know me at all!
4. What does my significant other think of me?
Strung Out Again- Elliott Smith
Standing, smiling from fantasy island
Moving with my lost reflection of me
The tide's coming in
And I'm strung out again
Strung out again
This confirms a suspicion I've had for a while, my dog clearly misunderstands me. I'm not on drugs, this is my personality! Maybe we need counseling...
5. Do people secretly lust after me?
Wild & Lethal- Paul Westerberg
Just like a common thief
I'll get you everything you ever need
But by the evening, you're gonna want some relief
Cause I'm wild & lethal
I think that's a resounding YES. Wild & lethal, what more could you ask for?
6. How can I make myself happy?
Me and the Major- Belle & Sebastian
I think the Major's going quite insane, he goes
Along the pavement and comes back again, oh yeah
I think the Major's going quite insane, he goes
Along the pavement and comes back again
Like he is on parade, and he is on parade
At least he thinks so
Okay, I'm sensing I wouldn't be happy if I joined the Army. You're getting a bit cryptic, iPod.
7. What should I do with my life?
What Did I Ever Give You?- Kaiser Chiefs
Disgraced, back to my place
I'm a complete waste of your time
I'm asleep before the first sheep
Until the last bleep of all time
Hmm, I'd say my future isn't looking too promising. Maybe joining the Army isn't such a bad idea afterall.
8. Why must life be so full of pain?
Lullaby- Pedro the Lion
Rest in me, little David and dry all your tears
You can lay down your armor and have no fear
Cause I'm always here when you're tired of running
And I'm all the strength that you need
Well the iPod just got all religious on me. Interesting that it turned to religion to answer this question, just like so many people do when they go through pain. Maybe there's something to religion afterall- if the iPod says so, it must be true.
9. What advice can you give me?
In the Backseat- Arcade Fire
I like the peace
In the backseat
I don't have to drive
I don't have to speak
I can watch the countryside
And I can fall asleep
So you're saying I should let others drive and sit in the backseat? That's invaluable. Thanks!
10. What do you think true happiness is?
Monkey Heart and the Horses' Leg- Preston School of Industry
Every change is good here
Change is good for us
Well that's the way it goes, I guess
Well that's the way it goes , I guess
Was it the monkey heart, fueled by the monkey brain
or the horses' leg
that left you so insane
I'm not satisfied
No, I'm not satisfied
True happiness is change? Or monkey hearts? Or monkey brains? Or horses' legs? Oh iPod, I'm so confused. I'm not satisfied with your answer. No, I'm not satisfied.
11. Will I die happy?
Within You Without You- The Beatles
We were talking about the space between us all
And the people who hide themselves behind a wall of illusion
Never glimpse the truth then it's far too late when they pass away
We were talking about the love we all could share
When we find it to try our best to hold it there
With our love
With our love we could save the world
If they only knew
Try to realize it's all within yourself no one else can make you change
And to see you're only really very small and life flows on within you and without you
We were talking about the love that's gone so cold
And the people who gain the world and lose their soul
They don't know, they can't see, are you one of them?
When you've seen beyond yourself then you may find peace of mind is waiting there
And the time will come when you see we're all one
And life flows on within you and without you
For all the goofy answers you've given me, iPod, this one was worth the wait. I couldn't agree with you more, following Eastern philosophy is probably a pretty good way to ensure you'll die happy. Thanks George Harrison, and thanks iPod!!
to do #119: have my fortune told (by an iPod).
5 comments:
*laugh*
I need to beg/borrow/buy/steal an iPod from somewhere. Or maybe my trusy old mp3 player will do...
This is a good game, isn't it? I love the insights into what people have on their iPods almost as much as I am enjoying seeing what the oracle says about your life....
that's what I like to see though: someone with a 'classic' iPod with separate buttons and scroll-wheel. I'm deeply in love with mine, but with 5259 songs and 27.9 of my 30Gb taken up, I'm rapidly approaching a difficult decision point.
(and camphor, I think any old MP3 player could do the job as long as it has a 'random' feature. Just as long as you realise you should have an iPod....)
ST
Camphor, ST is right, any mp3 player will do as long as it has a shuffle feature, but you will certainly feel far less cool than you would if you were using an iPod.
ST--Haha, I used to have an old-school first generation iPod, but I traded it up for a second generation one, which is what you see pictured. I believe it's hard to distinguish because the photo was taken on my old-school digital camera! It's almost time to trade it up as well.
As far as your dilemna, I think the only logical solution is to get another iPod. They could be like fraternal twins: iPod #1 and iPod #2. You could sort your music between the two-- perhaps pre-90's on #1, post 90's on #2. Or, artists A-M on #1, N-Z on #2. And as far as carrying around two iPods? No problem. A belt with two iPod holsters on it will make you look very hip. Maybe even Wild & Lethal. Okay, perhaps this isn't your most logical solution, but it's definitely a fun one!
you are assuming I in fact only have the one iPod.....
horrifyingly, we are a 3 iPod house: my 30Gb, my shuffle (which I use when I'm training) and C's mini. C covets a nano, so we may be about to expand. When (and if) mine ever dies, I think only a 60Gb will suffice.
Such wanton consumption. Tsk.
ST
*laugh*
Hardly anyone has an iPod around from where I am *horror* In fact, I'm more likely to do it on my old crumbling desktop than anywhere else.
But yeah, I need to create a to do list too - 1. Buy an iPod.
Scratch that, 1. Get more RAM for the compy.
2. Get a freind to buy an iPod (that way it's free and I still use it like it's mine)
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